Are Boyfriends Overrated? A little girl daydreams about her wedding,

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Are Boyfriends Overrated? A little girl daydreams about her wedding, the colors it's going to contain, who's going to attend, her white gown, and every little detail her mind can possibly imagine but, most important, her groom. So, from the start, she's on the hunt for that future groom who will start out as her BOYFRIEND! She looks high and low for someone handsome, smart, funny, trustworthy, and someone who will care for her no matter what, someone her friends and family will adore, not to mention one she can brag about to those she doesn't like. But what does that woman really find? A boyfriend who is good looking enough (but he is so nice!!), smart enough, one who thinks he's funny, one who no matter how hard he tries she will still never truly trust him, and one who she will have to stick up for with her friends and family ("No, I know him, he didn't mean that.")

But, in the end, one who she will still brag about to those of whom she doesn't like because some might say having a boyfriend gives a woman a certain "air" about her.

In high school there was this woman in my class who no one really paid attention to until she, who was a freshman, got a senior boyfriend. It was then that other people saw her as "cooler" and more acceptable to talk to. Then, one day, as I was walking to my locker, I saw him hit her so hard she flew across the hall only for him to spit on her as she laid there, crying. I believe it was at that moment she realized having a boyfriend can be overrated and, at times, not worth it. Even though her new found popularity might be at risk, she never went back to him. But, that was an extreme case, boyfriends can be great. It's what a lot of women want. It's what a lot almost strive for in high school. I'm not saying women shouldn't have boyfriends, just simply women's expectations of having one are too high. Many women are constantly wanting a boyfriend, someone to spend time with, someone to be there for them, someone to take them out, romance them, and "please" them. All these things are great to have, but does a woman need a boyfriend to have them? Does the relationship really work out how she wants it to? Is having a boyfriend even worth all the trouble that comes along with having one? And isn't there plenty of things that are overlooked about being single when a woman is young? Some women feel it necessary to have a boyfriend in order to fulfill some basic human needs such as wanting someone to spend time with them and not be lonely. This is understandable, but a woman doesn't have to have a boyfriend to fulfill this need. Spending time with friends can be just as fun, if not more so, at times in certain situations, such as going to the beach. When a woman is at the beach with her friends, she's able to engage in girl talk and check out other men that many women can't do if their boyfriends are at their side. Or it's better to be with friends when a woman goes shopping. When a woman shops with her boyfriend, many times she will have to put up with his complaining how he doesn't want to be there or for her to hurry up. Shopping with her friends can be much better since the woman can ask advice on items she's thinking about buying instead of her hearing how he doesn't care and for her to "just pick something!" Instead of always relying on a boyfriend to talk to, she should try talking to close female friends. A lot of times they tend to understand more about what the woman is feeling than her boyfriend because of the natural nurturing ability many women have. She can talk to friends about such issues as her other friends. If a woman has problems with one of her other friends she's much better off talking to another friend about the situation. Most likely, she would know that other friend better. In many cases she would also give better advice since she, too, is a woman and can understand more of how women feel. I know of many cases where a boyfriend will say things to his girlfriend about her friends to advance the fight instead of trying to help her solve her problems with her friends.

A woman doesn't need to feel lonely if she doesn't have a boyfriend. Again, being with friends can help this need. Many women also have the opportunity to know they have a family there who loves them and so they have no reason to feel lonely.

A great way for a woman to get a man to take her out, and to get romance into her life, is not to be committed to him. A woman has a better chance when she isn't committed because many men, when they are trying to woo a woman, will take them out. This is the time when some men are the sweetest, most romantic, and willing to show her a good time. Once some men become committed, they stop the show and life becomes typical, boring.

In these times we are living in, it's more acceptable for a woman and a man to do a little kissing without commitment. If this is what the woman is looking for, then I'm sure she'll have no problem finding a man who's willing to "please" her without commitment. But, if it's her conscience that bothers her, then maybe getting a boyfriend is the right thing to do.

Just like the dream wedding, and the dream groom, it's a dream. Many relationships never work out as we imagine them. Most wouldn't even get involved in the relationship if they knew how it would turn out in the end. But, since a woman doesn't know, she has to take a chance. And then, no matter how much she may like a man, no matter how good he is to her, no matter how sweet, how funny, how smart, how trustworthy, no one is perfect and there will be problems. Little things that normally wouldn't bother her about a man would if she were committed to him. There are lots of stories about this situation. A woman who thinks it's so cute the way he slurps his soup gets annoyed after awhile when the cuteness fades. Then jealousy might set in and fights take place because of hurt feelings. Feelings get hurt more often when a person's committed then not, and a whole slew of other problems can take place such as getting upset because that person isn't spending enough time with the other. When a woman is older and ready to settle down, or have a family, these problems can be worked out, made better, and in the end really be worth it.

Many times young women overlook that being single has its advantages. A woman's able to do what she wants, when she wants, without having to worry about her boyfriend getting upset or jealous. A woman who always has a boyfriend isn't always able to check out the population and get to know more men or find someone who fits her better. Instead, she may end up with a man who eventually won't work out just because she had to have someone at that moment. Being single also allows a woman to become more independent. It's all too sad when a woman who has always had a boyfriend depends on him for everything. She doesn't realize that if something happens to her boyfriend, she would be alone and unable to depend on him for anything, anymore. A woman I know who is used to having her boyfriend always drive is now scared to drive herself. Another woman I know who always has to have a boyfriend won't even going shopping by herself because she became entirely dependent on a man to be by her side. Independence is a strong quality and, in the end, will help a woman in the world by enabling her to go out and get things done for herself.

Many people will argue that having a boyfriend is wonderful. Many of those women are the ones who say their in love. I'm not saying boyfriends aren't wonderful, that having a boyfriend isn't exciting, great, and doesn't have advantages, but in many aspects having a boyfriend is overrated, especially when a woman is young.

Obviously, a boyfriend is needed if a woman does plan on getting married and having that dream wedding she's been planning since she was five. But, if a woman's not looking for marriage right now, but rather wants to focus on her career, then she should pursue her dreams. A single young woman needs to understand that having a boyfriend is wonderful, but also can be more than it's worth. She shouldn't be upset if she doesn't have one. She shouldn't worry about needing a boyfriend to complete her. She can find what she needs in other people and, most of all, she should have fun, find advantages in being single, and meet as many people now while she can before she says "I do."



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